Cedar

Our son is finally here!  Cedar Kaj was born in Quebec City on January 23rd, 2010 at 22h30.  He measured 5 lbs 13 oz and 20.25 inches... long, thin, and absolutely perfect :)

Rob and I have been so touched by all the loving support we've received, throughout the pregnancy and especially these last days, so thank you!

That's the nutshell version.  The proud grandparents have requested more photos, though.  And all my mommy friends want to hear more about Cedar's birth.  This will be a great way for us to record all the details for later on, so here goes ....


The last couple days before his due date we got more and more excited with anticipation, but tried to keep calm, knowing that first babies are typically late.  We passed the time with final details like installing the car seat and putting our bags in the car.  Two days before, we dropped into my local Tricothé (knitting gathering) to pick up some wool I'd ordered to make lil buddy some diaper covers. They took one of the only photos we have of us together with the full belly, so glad for that.

Jan 19, two days before due date

On the due date there was no sign of activity.  So we headed out for an afternoon walk to one of our favourite spots, a little lake just at the end of our road. It felt great to keep moving and breathe some fresh air, because I hadn't been leaving the house much lately.  Also a good way to not obsess about when is he coming?!

 

 

 Jan 21: walking at Lac Jaune on our due date

(Behind us is the local ski hill, Le Relais)

The next day we went out for a big grocery shop to stock the cupboards, fully prepared in case we had to head to the hospital.  But the day came and went with no action...

The morning of Saturday Jan 23rd I woke up with lots of energy. I let Dad sleep in, and popped out to the local bakery and grabbed the Globe and Mail... barely a 1km drive, but boy I provoked some concern when I got home! ;)  We spent the rest of the morning leisurely eating pancakes (Rob is a pro), playing Scrabble and reading the paper.  My brother Derek is home in Toronto for a visit from Edmonton, and he called at 11 am to ask if there was any news yet...  in retrospect I think he triggered labour ("Is the baby coming yet?  Do you need a plunger?")...

Because a short while later I started to feel icky.  My tummy was upset, and it took me awhile to notice that the feeling was coming in very subtle waves... repeatedly... like, duh, I get it, contractions!  Around 1230pm we started timing them (Rob later said that he noticed my response time in laying down a Scrabble word was getting longer and longer, almost enough for him to beat me but not quite, ha ha).

We kept playing and timing, started packing a bag of snacks for the hospital, and double-checked our pregnancy book: "when contractions have been consistently 5 minutes apart for an hour, it's time to go".  Yup.  At that point I called the nurses' hotline at our hospital and reported the progress.  They recommend not showing up too soon because it's more comfortable to go through early labour at home.  So following their advice, I took a warm bath for 15 minutes, then laid down to rest while counting the baby's movements.  My water must've broken then, and started releasing in small amounts.  When the contractions got a bit stronger, we ate some soup that Rob made and bundled up for the ride of our lives....


At 4:30 pm we started the drive.  It was a clear, beautiful day, and thankfully an easy drive with little traffic on a weekend afternoon (the autoroute Laurentienne can be hellish on work days).  The sun was setting and the orangey-blue sky made for a calming backdrop en route.  We'd already tried out the exact drive and pulled into the parking lot right near Obstetrics 20 min later.  Walked calmly to the elevator and up to the 2nd floor, to the Centre Mère-Enfant of Université Laval's hospital.


By 5pm they were doing my admission and assessment.  I was now 4cm dilated and the nurse said it was perfect timing for arrival.  I pointed out that it seemed like the amniotic fluid (the "water" that breaks) was now brownish, which I'd read can be a sign of meconium being released.  That's the baby's waste matter that accumulates during fetal life and is passed shortly after birth, so you don't normally see it before birth.  She agreed and took note of it.  Everything was progressing normally and a nurse led us down the hall to our birthing room.

Even in my state of growing discomfort I was so impressed by the warm set-up of this birth centre within a big modern hospital.  It was so welcoming: the room we were brought to was the place where we'd deliver the baby, and it didn't seem at all clinical.  Our attending nurse (Claudine?) was so cool, a caring young woman with an awesome tattoo of roses entwining her arm that helped to distract me a bit.  As contractions progressed and became more painful they offered us the use of a hot tub.  This was a welcome idea because we were aiming to have a natural birth, and the tub is soothing and can progress dilation.  So we were taken across the hall to another room with a large jet bath.  The nurse put me in, he stayed with me, and she returned every 15 min to monitor baby's heart rate.  I think we spent about an hour in there, til I started to have brutal contractions -- the ones that come when you're almost ready for active labour. 

Rob and the nurse escorted me back to the birthing room — I felt bad for any waiting moms who could hear me moaning uber-loudly in the hall.  The nurse offered the use of a birthing ball.  The sweet Dr. (Louis Huot?) amazed me when he offered me ice chips from a cup (our beloved GP Dr Nadeau was on vacation til the next day, and he was her replacement: looked like a french Trapper John MD, and was the kindest, paternal figure). But we then decided to ask for medication; after about 9 hours of contractions I was 8cm or so dilated and in agony.  The anaesthesiologist was paged.  The next 20 min waiting for some relief was so hard, as the contractions became super strong.  The epidural went fine, and by 9:30pm I was able to talk and think again.  This was the lull before the storm... it was a precious time when Rob and I were able to take a breath, appreciate the moment, and quickly call the grandparents to let them know labour was underway. 

(Here comes the really exciting part!)

Shortly after Rob hung up the phone, the nurse expressed her concern that the baby's heart rate was dropping, and I learned later that it had dropped a bit in the tub.  She paged Dr. Huot from his rounds by yanking the emergency cord from the wall.  He did a quick physical assessment of the baby, while baby's heart rate continued to drop over the next couple contractions.  He said that the baby had to come out immediately, looked at us and said I'd have to have an emergency c-section right away.  The nurse called at Rob to yank all the heavy power cords out of the wall, so they could move all the monitoring devices with the gurney.  And then, just like a scene from the television show ER, I was whisked down the hall: Dr., nurse and Rob pushing the bed while Rob held the cables.  I was staring at the ceiling, praying, and a bunch of other people met us at the operating room.  I remember the nurse looking at me and telling me that they couldn't find the baby's heart rate but not to worry, and she would check on us after the operation.

Rob was left to wait in the hall while they prepped the room.  I was moved to another bed and a large curtain was erected near my chest, shielding my lower body.  There was a team of maybe 8-10 staff in the room.  The anaesthesiologist was there and explained to me there wasn't time to give me any more medication (so, it turned out it had been perfect timing that I'd requested an epidural, or I would've had to be put under fast with general anesthesia and be out cold for the birth).  Dr Huot was there, and an obstetrician (the amazing Dr. Nancy Thomas) told me she would be doing the surgery.  I then asked "where's Rob?!" and one of the doctors ran out to quickly get him prepped.

Rob came in and stood by my head, stroking my shoulder, and then they did the surgery.  Immediately we heard our baby's first cry — the longest moment of my life ended, and my tears of fear and waiting turned to tears of delirious joy.  They called Papa over to cut the cord and bring baby to me while they started stitching me up.  I couldn't hold our son yet because my arms were spread wide and numb from the medicine, so Rob put him right by my face so we could snuggle.

Rob stayed with me for a bit while they finished the surgery and then went to check on Cedar while they treated him.  They had to suck fluid and meconium out of his lungs, but the doctors said right away that he looked healthy, and well-developed, and though skinny he would recover just fine.  I spent 2 hours in recovery and Cedar was brought to the "pouponnière".  They brought him briefly to us in our hospital room for a snuggle when he was 4 hours old, and otherwise he spent the rest of the next 2.5 days under observation there in the nursery for heart rate and blood glucose issues.  But you can see that even then, he looked strong (and adorable ;).  We were able to visit him whenever we wanted to feed and care for him there.  During those difficult days some thoughtful friends visited us and brought delicious home-cooked food.

1 day old, getting warm in the incubator

The best they can tell, the cause of the heart distress was that the placenta detached early from the uterus, so he wouldn't have been able to go through the birthing process.  Issues with the placenta are also probably why he didn't put on fat at the tail end of the pregnancy.

On day 3 they released Cedar from observation and he was able to spend the final day with us in our room.  Already breast-feeding like a champ, he put on weight while still in the hospital.  And then I got the best birthday gift ever: on the day I turned 39, Dr. Nadeau came by, helped Rob change Cedar's bum, and we were released to go home!  Our follow-up home visit by a nurse showed that he's in great health.  He's already up to 6lbs 1oz, and she said his weight gain after 2 days at home was more than double what they'd be happy with for any newborn.

Day 3: finally camping with mama and papa, yay!

So that's the story of Cedar's birth.  It involved a different sort of drama than we ever anticipated, and we are extremely grateful that we were in a top-notch modern facility with amazing staff who were able to respond immediately to complications.   All that matters now is our beautiful son is thriving and happy, and these two parents are simply over the moon with love, bliss and gratitude.  I am so proud of my man, who was an absolute rock during every single moment, taking care of mom and baby at the same time.

1st bath at home

I've written much more than I intended, yet there's so much I left out.  Rob has been cooking dinner while I rock Cedar and write our thoughts.  Comparing our shared memories of each step has been wonderfully cathartic, therapeutic and joyful. Last night at 10:30 under a full moon we celebrated the 1 week anniversary of Cedar's birth.  What a difference a week makes!  Life is precious and tumultuous and beautiful, and we are reveling in the joy of becoming a family of three.

self-portrait: 1st full day at home in Lac-Beauport

And here are some one-week-bday portraits for the road.